May 4, 2000


Dear Ann landers:


I have been reading your column for many years and thought of writing so many times.  Today Im going to do it.  Your recent column really hit me hard.
Without a Mom in Maryland was upset because her father didnt let her know that her mother was dying until it was too late.  She felt that she had been denied the opportunity to tell her mother so many things she had wanted to say.




多年來,我一直閱讀您的「信箱」專欄,也曾多次想寫信給您。  今天,我就要這麼做了。您最近的專欄真的使我深深感動。「馬里蘭州無母者」(:最近專欄來函者假名)難過,因為她的父親沒有及時讓她知道她的母親病危。她本有很多,很多事情要告訴母親,她感覺到告訴母親的機會被剝奪了。


I wonder why Maryland waited until her mother was dying to say those things. Was she like our children—“too busy with her own life? We tried to be good parents. When our children married, we accepted and loved their spouses.  We helped them buy their first homes.  We loaned them money, and when their babies were born, we were on hand to bay-sit.  Never did we refuse a request.  We were glad that we were in a position to help.


我覺得奇怪,為甚麼「無母者」,要等到她母親臨終時才想到要告訴她那些事情呢?她是否像妳我的子女一樣「太忙」於她自己的生活? 我們努力做好父母。當我們子女結婚時,我們接納並疼愛他們的配偶。我們幫助他們買第一幢房子。我們借錢給他們。他們的孩子出生之後,我們隨時準備去做褓姆。我們從未拒絕過任何要求。我們很高興有能力助他們一臂之力。


Now that our children are older and have their feet solidly under them, they no longer need our help.  They also have no time for us.  Granted, they are two-parent working familiesbusy, Very busy. But are they so busy that they cannot pick up a phone to see if we are alive or dead? They eat out often, yet they never ask us to join them.  We have quit phoning.  It seems we always get them at an inconvenient time.




Dont suggest that we have it out with them and ask what is wrong.  Theyd say, Nothing.  We are busy with our lives.  There isnt enough time for everything. If you use my letter, please dont print my name or state.  Perhaps it will jar other adult children into realizing that NOW is the time to show love and pay attention to their parents.  Dont wait until they are dying. (China Post, September 24, 1991)

---Hurting Somewhere in the U.S.A.



(譯自China Post, September 24, 1991.藍德絲女士「信箱專欄」)


                                      ---美國某處的傷害者  敬啟