J MOTHER’S DAY (3) J

盡孝須及時

柏翠亞 

May 4, 2000

 

Dear Ann landers:

 

I have been reading your column for many years and thought of writing so many times.  Today Im going to do it.  Your recent column really hit me hard.
Without a Mom in Maryland was upset because her father didnt let her know that her mother was dying until it was too late.  She felt that she had been denied the opportunity to tell her mother so many things she had wanted to say.

 

親愛的藍德絲女士:

 

多年來,我一直閱讀您的「信箱」專欄,也曾多次想寫信給您。  今天,我就要這麼做了。您最近的專欄真的使我深深感動。「馬里蘭州無母者」(:最近專欄來函者假名)難過,因為她的父親沒有及時讓她知道她的母親病危。她本有很多,很多事情要告訴母親,她感覺到告訴母親的機會被剝奪了。

 

I wonder why Maryland waited until her mother was dying to say those things. Was she like our children—“too busy with her own life? We tried to be good parents. When our children married, we accepted and loved their spouses.  We helped them buy their first homes.  We loaned them money, and when their babies were born, we were on hand to bay-sit.  Never did we refuse a request.  We were glad that we were in a position to help.

 

我覺得奇怪,為甚麼「無母者」,要等到她母親臨終時才想到要告訴她那些事情呢?她是否像妳我的子女一樣「太忙」於她自己的生活? 我們努力做好父母。當我們子女結婚時,我們接納並疼愛他們的配偶。我們幫助他們買第一幢房子。我們借錢給他們。他們的孩子出生之後,我們隨時準備去做褓姆。我們從未拒絕過任何要求。我們很高興有能力助他們一臂之力。

 

Now that our children are older and have their feet solidly under them, they no longer need our help.  They also have no time for us.  Granted, they are two-parent working familiesbusy, Very busy. But are they so busy that they cannot pick up a phone to see if we are alive or dead? They eat out often, yet they never ask us to join them.  We have quit phoning.  It seems we always get them at an inconvenient time.

 

如今,我們的子女長大了,翅膀也長硬了,也們已不需要我們的幫助。他們也無暇跟我們來往。不錯,他們都是雙親上班家庭---忙碌,非常忙碌。但是難道他們忙到沒有時間拿取電話打一通,看看我們是死是活嗎?他們常在外面用餐,然而從不約我們共餐。我們已停止打電話給他們,因為每次打電話好像都是他們「不方便」的時間。

 

Dont suggest that we have it out with them and ask what is wrong.  Theyd say, Nothing.  We are busy with our lives.  There isnt enough time for everything. If you use my letter, please dont print my name or state.  Perhaps it will jar other adult children into realizing that NOW is the time to show love and pay attention to their parents.  Dont wait until they are dying. (China Post, September 24, 1991)

---Hurting Somewhere in the U.S.A.

 

請不要建議我們跟他們好好談一談,以解決問題,也不要問哪不對,因為他們會說:「沒什麼。我們忙碌於我們的生活。沒有時間事事都顧到。」如果您採用我的信,請不要刊出我名字或者州名。也許這封信可以刺激其他的成年子女領悟到現在就是對他們父母表示愛與關懷的時刻,不要等到他們父母臨終的時候。

(譯自China Post, September 24, 1991.藍德絲女士「信箱專欄」)

 

                                      ---美國某處的傷害者  敬啟

 

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